Saturday, May 7, 2016

Meal No. 1544: Thigh Will Be Done

For Your Thighs Only. Tonight, the thigh's the limit: that's all there was. Two thighs on the plate. (I decided to try it on for thighs.) Which means: My thighs have seen the glory. It was like winning the Thighsman Trophy, a real sight for sore thighs, although according to thighwitness accounts, it was a thighsolated event. There was no thigher's remorse on this good deal: you shop local, you thigh local. It was better than steak and french thighs, or thighced coffee. It's like a surthighs party in thigh society. You can search thigh and low, call up the King of Thigh-am, sing a song from Miss Thighgon, look through your thighnoculars, vote in the Thighowa caucuses, eat a cheeseburger in parathighs or on Gilligan's Thighland while rooting for the Crimson Thighde while shopping at Thalthighmers with Thighmon and Garfunkle singing about parsley, sage, rosemary, and thighme, you can join a thight club and bat your thighlashes at Thighamese twins on the Thighdes of March...but the thighs have it. It's like Morgan Spurlock swooped in to superthighs me. It's not the dinner they'd serve on the Pothighden Adventure or at the U-thigh-ted Nations, where they've concluded we should not have invaded Thigh-rac in search of radio thighsotopes or other WMDs. (Cheney thighed like a dog!) It's better to love thigh neighbor, even if his run-down house is a thighsore. Otherwise, you might be skating on thin thighs. Hey: I'm a surthighvor, not ready to say thigh-anora nor to sing "Thigh, Thigh, Birdie" nor "Thighs, Thighs, Baby." You can thigh me a river (unless you're Argentina, and then you shouldn't thigh for me). It's thigh time to visit the Thighffel Tower, unless you're too thighed up to call me on my thighPhone (perhaps you're Jazzerthighzing, which is good for your thighroid). [Heavy thigh.] Oh, fee thigh fo fum: an invasion of the thighborgs that even Dwight D. Thighsenhower couldn't prevent. Thigh, Claudius, and Sam Thigh Am, along with Thighawatha (who was accused of being a thighs queen): we'd all like 'em to be sunny thigh'd up, just before we start the long goodthigh. It's a bit thighronic, don't you think?


Brad said...

You know that I love this.

Jimmy Randolph said...

Wow. Just wow.

Ray said...

I aim to please.